I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
