Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
