I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
