3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
