yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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