Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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