Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
