But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
