Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
