I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
