Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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