Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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