My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
