I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
There r osticjed everywhere
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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