i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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