Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
