Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
