We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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