By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
