Soap is not a condiment
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize