Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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