Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
there is glitter all over my balls
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
