So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize