I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
