yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize