We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
