okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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