On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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