My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
