You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
