Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
