So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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