Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
