Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
