therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
