You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
