If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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