This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
is it fun? or sober?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
