Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
