Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
