i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
