Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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