Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
