Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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