I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
