I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
