so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
