I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize