She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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