Rock
Scissors
Fuck
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
