Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
