you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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