i just wanna soil my oats bro
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
