There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
it glows. i had to have it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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