she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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