I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
