a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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