i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
