It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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